Cave: Picture this.

As promised, here's some snaps from the Nick Cave show. Well, strictly, they're mostly from before the show due to a fairly strict 'no cameras' policy. Gives you an idea of the venue to go with the previous post !

Inside the Sage:




Two shots of the outside of "Hall One", where the gig was:





My view !




Two hastily shot pictures - had to be quick due to
cameras etc not being allowed.

Cave. Simply sagely.

7:30pm music chosen by the Seeds gets piped in - stuff like Cohen, Bowie, Lou Reed, old obscure blues.

8:30pm Cave + 3 Seeds (Warren Ellis on Violin / Bouzouki, Martyn Casey on Bass, Jim Sclavuno on drums) take to the stage to quite some reaction.

It's just a back cloth with a number of stage lights and some filterered spots - simple but effective. The crowd looked somewhere between the Royal Albert Hall and a Levellers gig and the merchandise was dayglo colours a la Caves "Stagger Lee" video outfit with either the band logo or "Love Child", all wonderfully starting in sizes from 2years upwards.

He'd only got two tracks in when fans could hold back no longer and started shouting requests out. At this Nick just smiled, laughed and said "ok, if thats the way you want it - you shout it and we'll play it" and, pretty much, that's what they did. In no particular order, in addition to those I've forgotten, they played:-

From her to eternity
God is in the house
Abattoir blues
Red right hand
Cannibals hymn
Hallelujah
Hiding all away
Let the bells ring
Babe, you turn me on
The ship song
Rock of Gibraltar - "this is the height of my writing to date"
Mercy seat - "Last time we played this in Newcastle must have been 22 years ago"
Lyre of Orpheous
Stagger Lee
The Singer

There were maybe another half-dozen tracks played - I'm those will come to me over the next day or so.

Ellis played like a whirling dervish - his violin simply a part of him. Aside from Cave's almost possesed playing style during some of the louder numbers, it was quite incredible to watch him losing himself in every bowed note.

High spot ? Apart from the banter, it was when he brought the place right down with an almost gothic torch-song version of "Christina the astonishing" before banishing the spirits he'd just invited in with a huge rebel-rousing "Henry Lee". Talk about contrast.

Both musically and as a front man Cave was on stupidly good form which, when combined with the incredible acoustics in the hall, made for a quite unforgettable gig. As an idea of the sound quality, there was a bass note you could feel in your chest cavity and, during some of the quieter moments, you could hear Caves feet tapping the piano pedals.

As mentioned Cave was up for enjoying the evening. When some wit decided to 'request' Waltzing Matilda, he pointed a finger, chuckled, and simply said "Mate, comedy is a lonely business". Later, holding his hand above the keys, he waited for an unsuspecting punter to cheer him on - he got a wonderfully sharp "Shh, it's all in the timing".

After joking about selling tea towels at their recent Manchester gig ("Tea towels - total fucking merchandising coup") he was laughing so much he fluffed the start of Lyre of Orpheous - twice.

In a quizzical tone, we got a thoughtful comment about the crowd going from silent reverence to noisy as hell at the end of each track - "This place is weird - it's so quiet when we're playing it's almost like you're actually listening to us".

Genius was there to be witnessed tonight - and he was laughing along at the time.

In the Nick of time......

Well, that could have been an odd way for the weekend to finish.

I've just been sitting here this morning thinking to myself that there was something I had to do today but I couldn't remember what.

Then it hit me - it's the Nick Cave gig tonight !!

With the last few days being as they were it had totally slipped my mind - how on earth would I have felt if I'd been sitting here this evening and remembered too late ! I think the word 'gutted' wouldn't have come close !

No full post today - it's been a long and sad one and I'm finishing the bottle of Cabernet I opened earlier in the week.

Funerals are odd things - the whole location is so normal and almost passe these days that it has little effect, but seeing even one single friend finally break down in tears is too much to bear for me.

I'll raise a glass to you tonight, Vera - it was great to know you - and sign off until tomorrow.

African head-shrinkers needed - apply within.

I'm gutted.

It's not snowing so much now but the wind has decided to wake early and is whistling around, over and most likely into anything it can.

Ideal, I thought, to use my Russian 'Squirrel Head' and saunter (or, as it would feel, sauna) into work feeling smug. It was bought from a young cadet just outside the Kremlin on a stupidly cold -25degrees October morning and has since become a wonderful memory of a great time in Moscow, Leningrad and on the Trans-Siberian.

I'd forgotten that the hat had been bought back in around '87 and was bought to be snug at the time. Yes, you guessed it, it didn't fit ! I'm going to either have to shrink my head or find some way to stretch the hat.

Hmm, I wonder which option it may be ;o)

Paul 'Gazza' Gascoigne, well known international hat-model for the stars, can be seen here modelling my hat (complete with Kremlin cadet badge) for me -

Planmade for changeworld.

My brainmass has been thoughtjuggling with the idea for synthing a new speakstyle. It would be topcool and uber fashlead and give a twist of overimage to my writepage.

Celebtops would presswrangle & blufftwist their speech-outs at runfirst flickscreens and oldspeak would downfade.

No, that's a silly idea.

Realised that I'd been beaten to it by "A Clockwork Orange" by about a million years and that, in the recent end of things, (the god that is) Chris Morris had done it far better and far sharper.

Back to the scribbleslab then......

Spot Lyrics #4: Inspired by a Lucretia mention

Cold morning
Start of another day
Sleeping through the epilogue
Waking to the sound of rain
Driven to the crossroads
Where value's meaningless
What did you do to my faith
In justice, hope and happiness

Social, economical, spiritual
I'm moving to the house of love

Take my fire
Take my food and water
Forget about those promises
Of social good and social order
Lassoed by the cowboys
Tied down and it shows
Well I'm roping in those bad dreams
And selling off my work clothes

Social, economical, spiritual
I'm moving to the house of love

Gonna take a course of action
To restore my sight
'til the heart of motivation
Is filled with a golden light
They're hiding in the treetops
Tugging at my coat
But the power lines are falling down
And burning in the undergrowth

Social, economical, spiritual
I'm moving to the house of love

As the river runs
Tumbles and turns
You know you shouldn't stay
Or play the game again
But it could be different this time
You may win

Dreaming, dreaming
Dreaming, dreaming lying down

Dreaming,dreaming
Dreaming, dreaming lying down

I'm moving to the house of love

Here comes the dreaming


David Sylvian/Robert Fripp
"20th Century dreaming (A Shaman's song)"
from the album "The First Day"

My house is gradually going on strike.

Got home last night to find the house rather cold.

Thought it was maybe just the general weather but, as the evening wore on, realised it was getting colder still.

Checked the central heating and the timer which decides to kick things into gear was asleep.

Not turning, not bothered.

So, that's in addition to a hot water tap in the kitchen that is leaking non-stop that, as it's a relic dragged out from architectural salvage, will apparently be a sod to fix.

Isn't winter great.

Codename: Frosty.

Right chaps, this is it.

Your mission today is to camoflage yourself so as to look different from anybody else, thus avoiding discovery of our greater plan, and leave here for your long journey down.

Once at a height of around 6 feet you should carefully choose your target. Remember men, this is a one-chance mission and you'll need to stay icily alert.

On finding your intended aim directly for the eyes or nose for maximum discomfort. Failing that, attach yourselves to area of warm skin - coordinate as teams if possible to ensure blanket coverage.

Most of all, do a good job guys - your blizzard needs you.......

Yep, it's still snowing....

Gonzo, but no muppet.....

"Fiction is based on reality, unless you're a fairy-tale artist.
You have to get your knowledge of life from somewhere. You have to know the material you're writing about before you alter it."

Hunter S Thompson, 2003

Hooked by a tagline.

Recently watching a few Takeshi Kitano films again has got the film bug back in action over at Carpathian Towers. I'm already "part Jonathan Ross" by all accounts so it's nice to at least honour that from time to time.

Having pretty much caught up with Kitano movies and all the DVD's on the shelf in my pending pile, it's time to seek out more things to watch.

Read a couple of DVD reviews this morning and 2002's "Sympathy for Mr Vengence" caught my eye. Sometimes a storyline idea catches my interest and that's it, I'm hooked into seeing it.

This one ?

"Kang-ho Song is a deaf mute with a terrorist girlfriend who resorts to kidnapping in order to pay for his sisters life-saving kidney transplant"

Yep, I'm sold.

S'no joke.

Ok, I asked for the snow, I praised it with a photo when it fell - now I'm asking for it to stop.

Walked in this morning in a blizzard and got snow in my eyes, up my nose, in my mouth...even in my bloody pockets (thats no joke either)

What made things worse was that I was quietly walking up the stairs into work this morning, with my Queen Adreena album bewitching my ears into another place, Mr Paul decided to shout "SNOWMAN!" at the top of his voice when he saw me. Scared the crap out of me.

The novelty is wearing off fast.

So look, it's all very white and fluffy but can it now stop, please - even if only for the sake of Ray's boot ;o)

You don't always get what you want........

.....but sometimes you do !!

......Snow gone.

4:02pm - It's stopped snowing and the sun has come out.

Sigh. That really was pathetic.

Snow on.......

3:50pm - It's started snowing !

Nice to see you.....bang bang.

Some people say videogames are for children.

Other people are sure it's the domain of the friendless geek.

I'd say they hadn't tried running around online mercilessly gunning down, running over, grenading and evading a pile of other people you know (that's really know, in real life) but doing it after far too much absinthe.

Far too much - I'm paying for it this morning.

Kinda puts a whole new twist on things, especially when sitting with a headset on (or "doing a Britney", as somebody I know coined) and chatting, cursing and plotting with those people at the same time. It's an odd combination pointing a sniper rifle at somebodies head whilst chatting about how works been or if they've caught a certain film lately.

I guess it's down to the individuals idea of what defines the word social. Do you have to be in the same room to be able to enjoy somebodies company ? Even in the days before the web a phone call from a friend or loved one could lift the spirits, make you laugh or, in some way, bring you into the same space for a time.

Maybe it'll take people a while to catch up in the same way as anything in life. After all, we no longer run from trains on the cinema screen and "comics" are no longer seen as the domain of the under 10's

Either way. I'm already looking forward to the next Halo2 or Pro Evo game with the Mr Banks or Mr Fagan (and assorted guests!)

Just have to clear this head first. Time to take in some fresh orange juice whilst watch the new computer generated Captain Scarlet series.

That used to be just for kids too, you know.......

See you. See me. CD.

Do you want to know something ?

I have a project on the go which was going to remain secret for now but, because I'm in a good mood, I'll clue you in. I'm building a compilation album full of old, unusual or generally loved tracks from my now sprawling CD collection and, later in the year, you can all have a copy.

Obviously, when I say all, I mean those in our little Blog community - not everybody who reads this. If that was the case I'd have to start building my pressing plant and hiring staff now. It'll be the people I blog on, the people who blog on here and those who've become eMail buddies as well. The little silver blighters will therefore hit many countries if plans go through.

The cover is done and a number of tracks are already being "road-tested" on my MP3 player - more on this idea at a later date though.

Just though I'd wet your appetite, that's all ;o)

Di another day.

I read with some curiosity this morning that British investigators are currently re-visiting the tunnel where Diana, Princess of Wails, had her fatal car crash.

Now, it must be said that I don't write crime fiction for a living, nor do I watch endless buddy-cop shows on tv, but one things strikes me.

Wouldn't it have been more efficient, more cost effective and just plain better police work if they'd have found everything in there back in 1997 during the visit when it had just actually happened ?

Either way, I get a good blog title out of it so it's obviously worth the millions they're still spending......

Peace.

At Peace.

"Time for bed" said everybody together.

I'm having a good day today - work is marching in step and people I know (both near and far) are falling on the right side of the coin. When I'm in this mood I get creative so just need inspiration to get started.

Funnily enough, round about that thoughtful point this morning, a mate sent me a text which started an odd conversation about the new Magic Roundabout movie and who were providing the voices.

That got me thinking and "Boing !", inspiration was born.

It struck me that the trend these days is to have stars provide the voices for animated features but, against their normal use, to have them try to be the character and NOT inflect anything of themselves into the role. Surely if you pick a star voice the character should gain something from them to make using that person worthwhile.

I therefore present, for your slight enjoyment, my view of how this could (and I'd say should) have worked out....

Tom Baker .... ZeBadDee (voice)
Would have said: Boing ! I'm the slightly naughty character.
Should now say: I'm going to tie you down with my scarf, would you like that ?

Jim Broadbent .... Brian (voice)
Would have said: Wait for me, I won't be long.
Should now say: Being a snails not like the good old days....

Lee Evans .... Train (voice)
Would have said: Choo choo.
Should now say: Choooo CHOOO !! Oooooh ! WHISTLE !!! Chuff Chuff ! Er !! WOO WOO !!!! Ah !

Joanna Lumley .... Ermintrude (voice)
Would have said: Moo. Anybody got any nice flowers to eat ?
Should now say: Stoli, anybody ? I'm going to have to lie down at this rate...

Ian McKellen .... Zebedee (voice)
Would have said: Boing ! Time for bed, children.
Should now say: By the powers bestowed to me on the mount of....oops, wrong role.

Kylie Minogue .... Florence (voice)
Would have said: Come on everybody, let's try and solve this.
Should now say: Strewth, can you see my cute arse in this short skirt !?

Bill Nighy .... Dylan (voice)
Would have said: Hey man, anybody want to hear my far-out guitar ?
Should now say: Anybody for a nice glass of Cabernet, chaps ?

Robbie Williams .... Dougal (voice)
Would have said: I'll help for a sugarlump.
Should now say: Gimme an oatcake or I'll bloody well entertain you, like it or not.

Where did those animals go, Heidi ?

So, Heidi Klum has agreed to become the face of the McDonalds burger chain in Germany then ?

Supermodel but not super thoughtful it seems.

On reflection it actually fits the model lifestyle really well.

Anybody eating that muck is certainly liable to vomit.........

Be my Valentine.....some other time.

Everybody is expected to make at least one reference to Valentines Day on their blog so, to ensure I don't let you down, here's mine:

If you wouldn't do it on any of the other 364 days of the year then don't do it today. Find a gesture and use it on some other day on the other side of the year. Do it because you really want to, but not because the advert in the card shop window tells you to.

Here endeth the lessen for the day ;o)

George not as "gorgeous" as David.

Just watched "Oceans Eleven" for the first time. Yeah, that's 11 and not 12. Ok, I'm a sequel behind the rest of the world. Sue me.

Fluff, but clever twist-laden fluff. Quite a good melding of such a cast of luminaries and cool from titles to credits. Pretty entertaining all told.

The lasting impression in my head when it finished ?

I'd not heard the David Holmes track "Gritty Shaker" for ages and I'd forgotten how good it was. Must go and dig out the "Let's get killed" album and slap it on my MP3 player. May even throw the album at Ray - he might like it.

I love film but I guess music will always just nudge it down to a close second.

Edit: Just spinning it now and considering it came out in '97 it still sounds stupidly vital and fresh some 7 or 8 years later. This is the sound of Irish savvy in a sharp New York suit, doing deals in the back alleys.

Nobody else could get away with following a groovy guitar and xylophone dub-fest with a blaxploitation funk version of the James Bond theme and then hitting a dub like Strummer had mated with Lee "Scratch" Perry.

Genius.

An award winner you can enjoy with your eyes shut.

Just watched this years (or, in real money, last years) BAFTA's and it brought a large, warm smile to my face.

It wasn't for the films, though there have now been a few additions finally cemented into my "to see" list.

It wasn't for any of the actors or actresses, but Luliette Lewis saying of Stephen Fry in her deep southern drawl "I like him cos he's funny" did make me chuckle. Also Kate Winslet being nominated twice in the same categorey and not winning was something of a change.

Stephen himself was as polished a host as ever, though maybe a little restrained this year to these eyes.

No, it was the "Fellowship" award - the highest award given each year - that made me glad to have bothered watching.

For the first time in BAFTA's history it went to a composer - John Barry. To my mind it's long bloody overdue - the man is a genius at his art. Anybody who can score such amazingly memorable work for things as diverse as Born Free, James Bond, Midnight Cowboy, The Ipcress File, Dances With Wolves.....heck, I'm not listing them all.

Go here, read and be amazed.

Oh, and listen too. Never forget to listen.

Protests: An alternative view in pictures.

With all the hunt followers around that sheep never stood a chance.



If an effort to improve races the world of F1 went a little over the top with their chicanes.



Ever wondered where cones go for a day out ?



Am I the only one to find that small chair a very strange thing in this photo ?



Not sure what to protest about ?
It's "buy one - get one free" in todays sale !

The day the circus came to town.

This was going to be a post about how wonderfully English this whole protest thing in the area was. The groups wishing to protest had, by all accounts, had to submit their applications ahead of time and were then allocated somewhere they could stand and wave their banners etc.

There were even some sitting in the local hotels having a nice cup of tea before taking their boards and showing their reasons for being there. We English need our tea. It's liquid oxygen for some I'm sure and vital to keep an outraged air going on a long cold northeast day.

Also a "Fathers for Justice" protestor had donned a Superman outfit and climbed onto the Tyne Bridge. He planned to stay put until Monday, or at least while the weather was ok and he had some food to eat. Bless. Hope he's got his sandwiches with him.

Two wonderful pictures of how we do protests by and large. Ok, I'll grant you that occasionally things get out of hand and something escalates but in the main it's wonderfully restrained and an island nation in snapshot.

Now in that air of pleasantness I made the mistake of grabbing a few snaps with my phone of the general scene around the quayside and bridges - nothing close-up or detailed - just something to capture the general air of protest. This isn't an everyday happening and it would be nice to have a record of it once the circus leaves town on Monday.

Whilst walking up past the Hilton Hotel, where the Labour Party will be staying, I was swooped on, if you'll excuse me at least one sensationalist word, by two officers and given a quizzing as to who I was and why I was taking photos etc.

Now I'm all for security and keeping us locals safe but I must have been there for about 15mins. In the drizzle. Cold.

They were both polite and very business-like but there's something a little unsettling about being asked questions like name, address, where I worked, had I got a police record etc

The killer one was "Have you been doing anything I should know about, Sir ?". I was very close to telling him I was quite pleased about my blog but then realised this wasn't the sort of thing he meant. Silly me.

They even took my phone and had a good leaf through the pictures on there "as some officers don't like their photo's being taken". It's a fair point - have you seen some of them ?

We're the ones being disrupted by this and, at the end of the day, the ones paying the £2.8million to police it. Surely they should expect that local people would be as interested in the fact it's happening here as the event itself.

I'm going to add some of the pictures - carefully chosen, of course ! - as a post shortly. My eye for the comedy value has spotted a few things worthy of sharing....

Hoot your trap off - "It's well weapon"

Something to look forward to on Channel4 tonight if you're in the UK (and just for you Ray) have a TV aeriel.

10pm sees the transfer to TV of Nathan Barley, media figure absurd and urban egocentric, in Trashbat, brought to us by Charlie Brooker's TV Go Home and the iconic Cake-Monger Chris Morris.

I've not seen it yet and I'm therefore merely adding to the unsubstantiated hype but Brooker and Morris sound a rather delicious combination.

This heads-up brought to you by the Wasp T12 Speechtool with anti-shark technology.

There must have been water on the fireworks...

Do you know, I'm almost disappointed.

Walked into work today expecting helicopters, rabid police dogs, baying protestors being charged by police horses and I got.....nothing.

It's actually quieter than yesterday and there didn't seem to be a single travel restriction, protestor or even a slightly cross passer-by.

Ho hum.

Oh, there were no tanks either, Lucretia.....

The entertainment industry finally implodes. Live. With voting.

Well, that's it.

The entertainment world has, to this Carpathians eyes, finally gone mad and decided to give up on even the pretence of making any effort at all.

I take no joy on reporting that Eon Productions, the owners of the James Bond franchise has finally decided on the next 007 film. It will be a remake of "Casino Royale".

Let that sink in for a moment. A Bond film remake by the Bond people as the next new Bond film.

I realise that the gadgets, girls and good one-liners style of kiss-kiss bang-bang movie isn't to everyones taste these days but it's always been something you could rely on, even if only for a Christmas or holiday watch and a great set-piece or two.

The fields of TV and music don't fare much better - actually in some ways if the Bond film is digging up a grave metaphorically then this next news is pissing into it and dancing on it afterwards.

Two new shows slated for this summer, "R U the Girl with T-Boz and Chilli," airing on UPN and produced by FOX Television Studios, and "INXS Rock Star," the latest Mark Burnett concoction that is likely CBS-bound, will televise the "American Idol"-style auditions these bands are having to replace their deceased bandmates.

Again, I'll draw your attention to something - replace their deceased bandmates. On TV. As an entertainment show. With voting.

Do you know, one day people will watch old episodes of "Friends" as highbrow art and discuss how wonderful the art direction was on "Eastenders" back in the golden age of television.

Vote not to vote on these things, kids, otherwise we'll have brought it on ourselves.

If you don't want to know, ask a policeman

Further to the post below it seems that the boys in blue, er, yellow are already working on other acts for when their policing days are over. Stand up comedy being one of them.

Whether it's the grizzly beard, the studded "Very Metal" gloves, the jaunty hat or just the fact they've never had the chance to stop a Sasquatch (tm Ray) before I'm not sure.

I was stopped three times in 400yds this morning and the conversation, directly quoted to the best of my ability, went as follows:-



Morning Sir, can I ask where you're heading this morning ?

Yeah, I work just over there, under that large aerial {points across river}

Are you walking this way tomorrow, Sir ?

Well, I was hoping to - do you know which of these two bridges will be open for use ?

No Sir, we're not sure which - they don't tell us anything.

But one of them will be open ?

Certainly Sir, yes, unless we close them.

So you might close them ?

We don't know, Sir.

How about the bank I come down to get here ?

Yes, that'll be open for pedestrian access....
{pauses}
......unless that gets closed as well, Sir.

Do you know when that 'll be decided ?

We don't know when we'll know, Sir.

Thanks for the help officer {sigh}

Yellow......everywhere.

I could rant on all day about the state of UK politics but that's enough for a whole blog, not just a single post. I just had to make a comment, that's all.

I've never seen so many police in my life.

If I'd have seen any more in the short space of time it took me to walk home I'd have had retina damage from the obscene glow of their fluorescent yellow jackets.

This man:-



will be here



on Friday, Saturday and Sunday for this years Labour Party conference. Oh, and don't worry, the two pictures aren't to the same scale. I could make the obvious one liner to follow that last statement but I won't simply because it's too easy.

I work no more than two minutes walk from the Sage, on the Gateshead side of the Tyne river, and walk past it either way each day. With the police, the anti-ramraid barriers, the metal fences, the police bikes, police cars, police speedboats and what can only be described as the gangs of police wandering around, it felt very strange walking the same route tonight.

Yes, I know I used police twice in that list - that's how many police there were.

The scary thing is that this is only Wednesday evening and the conference is not until Friday - what on earth will it be like by then ? The estimate is 1000 police in that area during the conference. Oh, and the hunt lobby. And the anti-hunt protesters. And the Anti-Capitalist lobby.

I could be wrong and it all goes off ok but the words "Warzone, anybody ?" come to mind.

Watch your news over the next few days and you'll see it - that's one thing for certain.

"Be seeing it"

Only about 37 years too late I've been watching the, er, unique series "The Prisoner" on BBC4. Starring Patrick McGoohan, Leo McKern, some blazers and a big white balloon or two this achieved cult status amongst many, many people since then.

When driving to north Wales (Porthmadog, to be exact) to go on drunken camping trips we'd pass the turning to "the village" at Port Meirion but I was never interested in investigating as, at that point, the series had never really caught my imagination.

Having started to watch it I'm now determined to catch the final episode.

It's not to see if he escapes or to see if "Number 1" wins but just to see if there's one single episode in the whole series that I understand from start to finish. God knows I've not come close so far.

"You are number 6"

No I'm not, but I am bloody confused.

Drop the dead (sleeping) donkey....

I'm sitting here at work today eating my Korean noodle soup and thinking about dropping a blog on here. The strange thing is that I've realised I've no inspiration at all - seemingly nothing has happened since I posted last night.

That's quite a sad thing in itself isn't it. I've drifted through getting up and then the morning at work and there's nothing - not even something frustrating or annoying - to report on.

I did nearly oversleep this morning so after yesterdays sleep releated post I guess that's almost news. Almost. That's just the status quo returning though (no, not the band) so it's pretty poor if thats a 'highlight'.

Hmmm. Nothings happened and yet I've still got a blog post out of it.

Sneaky bugger, aren't I ;o)

You can paint a rainbow too.

Inspired by one of the real photo's on Lucretias blog - here - I wondered if a silicon brain could duplicate such a dramatic scene. Numerous films, such as the, er, 'unique' Star Trek movies mention terraforming or the altering of a planet to become like the earth.

I'm therefore currently messing around with Terragen, software that allows you to create landscapes, skys, lakes and mountains - and then take pictures of them.

I like my pic above but trust me, it's nothing compared with what experienced users are getting from it - see here for some truly amazing examples....

Can you buy sleep on eBay ?

Arithmetic Arithmetoc
I turn the hands back on the clock



Ah, Tom, if only it was that easy.

Yep, Carpy's not sleeping again - spent last night wide awake without a single yawn in me. It's weird as I've not changed my habits in pretty much any way at all, my work is no more (or less !) stressful than it ever has been and my personal life is pretty stable at the moment too.

If I had something to fret over or try to work through in my head I'd understand it and that in turn would maybe mean I'd sleep.

Seems like tonight will have to be a warming drink, some comfort food and an early night. It just feels like a chore to have to plan to sleep. Forcing something we supposedly do for a third of our lifetime just seems a strange idea.

Oh well, I'll report back in the morning because I know you'll be on the edge of your seat to find out what happens next...... ;o)

Where did you get that hat ?

Short and sweet this morning - like the coffee in front of me.

If you look out of the house and decide that you don't need a hat because "it doesn't look too bad today" just remember that you're inside a building and therefore not likely to realise just how cold it is.

Yes, that's the voice of experience kids....with a cold head.

Boys toys and imaginary pets.

A quick thanks to Ray for his patience over the last few days while I fiddled around with my Xbox Live settings.

Yes Ray, it was my DMZ IP address that was screwing things up, and I hadn't forwarded my UDP and TCP ports out through the Virtual Server. You may not know what that is (I'm not sure I do entirely) but it does mean you can gloat that your setup was fine all along.

There's something far more satisfying to pointing a shotgun in the face of somebody you know, or recognising the voice cursing as you slide tackle them off their feet.

Just so as you know, he blames his cat for things. I'm sure it's an excuse - I'm not even convinced he has a cat.

It's going to turn out to be a feline "Fight Club" moment, mark my words.

Kitano and the zen of acting - "Kikujiro"

I've moaned on here about TV but every now and then there's something that makes me incredibly glad to have a set. Tonight was one of those occasions.

As part of their weekly world cinema strand BBC4 showed "Kikujiro no natsu", an off-beat Japanese road-movie homage to The Wizard of Oz. Directed by, written by AND starring the unique talent that is Takeshi Kitano.



In case you don't know who Kitano is, picture a man who has been half of a comedy double act, a singer, a fiction, script and poetry writer, a director, a painter, a TV gameshow host and an actor......and has nailed the target on every single one of them without question. The western world has nobody that comes close - that's a big statement but still probably undersells the mans ability.

I'm a big fan - can you tell.

A young child, Masao, goes in search of his mother with the help of brash, loudmouth Kikujiro (Kitano) and this is simply the story of the journey from a to b.

Yusuke Sekiguchi, the child involved, doesn't for a minute give off that pretentious child-actor stench given to many in a role like that. Personally, I find it rare in films that the children don't give a case for a minimum age limit in the acting profession but this is one of them.

The 50,000 yen given to Kitano for the journey goes on prostitutes, gambling and junk food within a short time of setting out - for example his chosen gamble, a cyclist, crashes and things go downhill from there.

What follows features an attempted abduction of the child by a paedophile, two bikers, car theft, violence, hitchiking - yes, this is a light heartwarming comedy, trust me.

Kitano is on blinding form - yet again he displays the acting equivalent of putting on Joe90 glasses - he doesn't act a part, he just is - a lightness of touch even in the toughest of characters. Playing a man in a pink rubber ring learning to swim, especially with a huge Yakuza tattoo on his back, is a tough part to play for anybody - not for Kitano.

He's bumbling, thoughtless and stupid but always with an air that he could change at the drop of a word. Imagine Norman Wisdom as a Reservoir Dog in an episode of a Sunday afternoon TV comedy and you'll be close. You can just sense his untold past weighing on him through the entire film but without a single mention of it. Genius as ever.

When Hollywood does a film on relationships, family and generational divides it's a rare one that makes it outside the cloyingly obvious cliches and, if you will, proverbial sick bucket. When "Beat" Kitano handles one it's light, subtle, gentle and remarkably poignant.

Somebody texted me to ask how the movie was (Welcome to my Blog, Mr Fagan!) and I replied "A gentle, touching road movie full of humour and emotion - none of that Hollywood crap"

Says it all really.

Go here to get details or here to buy it.

Don't be afraid of subtitles, they are your friend.

You woudn't be reading this....

Earlier on today I found myself fretting about keeping up with all the various sites, blogs, forums and general places of merryment that I've been using over the last few years. I was wondering about which ones to phase out to be more realistic and, more importantly, to actually use some enough to warrant me going to them.

That isn't the point of this post though. Well, I suppose it is - kind of.

What I did start to think about is what would happen if the web just.....stopped. I mean, it's so normal now we give it a single three letter name and even people who've never used it kinda know it exists.

You're there picking up your email and the whole thing - servers, DNS tables, routers - just stops and doesn't come back.

Just think what chaos would ensue.

It's hard to even list the changes we'd see - the effect would be so wide ranging - both directly and indirectly - that most things would be affected.

Think of something - anything at all.

Business, home, education, shopping?

Yep, they'll all feel the hit.

Take simple shopping for example. You'd have to go to the shop to buy something like a CD, at least in the medium term until the internet shops reverted back to mail order adverts in magazines. That old way of selling would have long since been forgotten.

Some wouldn't come back at all and for those that did the prices would rise to cover the extra costs thus allowing shops (real brick places with overheads) to start to raise their prices again and sales would invariably fall.

Imagine business too - inter-office email, reporting, news gathering and monitoring. Stocks and shares, import/export.

Everything.

Graphs would fall around the world. Even if somebody designed a replacement it would take a while and companies, jobs and livelyhoods would go to the wall.

So next time you're ordering your new car, downloading your 13th album by Global Boy Band Inc or the latest papperazzi snaps of a model (no, I'm a singer really) airhead just stop and give the web a metaphysical hug.

We're locked into this more than we realise - "web" was the most apt name they could have chosen, though they may not have realised that at the time........

Coloured sugar that speaks your language.

Hmm.

It's been an odd week. Highs and lows in various (and not always enjoyable) combinations. You've read my posts though, so you know this already I would imagine.

I was trying to decide what to post that normally cheers people up, that most people share a love of and that would have international appeal. Yes, and interstellar too, carrot - I know.

Then it struck me.

Stupid, odd, vaguely addictive, sugar-infested sweets.... from around the world.... that you can buy !

Ray's seen this already, if I remember right, but it'll be fun for the rest of you. Well, that's the plan, anyway.

Imagine if you will a place that allows you to buy a selection of sweets, candies and drinks from UK, Japan, USA, Australia, China, New Zealand, Canada and South Africa.

That place is Cybercandy Ltd.

Still not convinced ? Try these examples:-



Saku Saku Panda. It's a biscuit! It's a chocolate! It's unsound in a conservational sense!





Calpis Water. Water in a can. That tastes of yoghurt. Heck, it's even got "Try Happy" on the tin.



I tell you, there's some damn weird shit out there in the big wide world o' sweets. A few of you may be well placed to "report in" with anything you find on there that has either brought a smile to your lips, or vomit to your floor.

Do you know the bizarre thing though ?

I rarely eat sweets these days - very rarely, actually - but I'm very liable to make an exception for a real scorpion in transparent sugar or candy that looks like a tree stump.

Yes, they're on the site too and yes, yet again, I'm stupidly easy to please.

Sign o' the times.

Learn to sign.

I won't go into the reasons for this but set aside a moment, every now and again, to learn to sign or finger-spell. You don't have to be deaf to add this to your skills.

I'm not saying you have to give up your job to re-train as an interpreter, or that you have to be able to sign fluently at 420mph at a range of 3miles but just that it's easy to pick up the basics and I'd like to think people (or at least one person) may have a go after reading this.

I was shown the 26 letters of the alphabet twice and they stuck. If I can do it from this then it must be easy.

So, in a change from the usual drivel I post on here, I'm simply saying for you to at least think about it.


I'm not saying these following links are the best, or the official ones, but they're the clearest ones with which to start. Get the alphabet under your belt and then maybe add a handful of basic words.

Some links:-

British Sign Language

American Sign Language

One of those nights.

"Come sail your ships around me,
and burn your bridges down. "

The sum is greater than the Dawn of it's parts.

Just listening to the new m83 album "Before the dawn heals us".

Imagine an album that manages to blend together:-

@ "shoegazing" taken directly from the My Bloody Valentine "swoop and crash" school of guitar abuse
@ layered choir runs that whiff of musical cheese
@ Air style gallic-lite electronica
@ Eno-esque soundscapes
@ bursts of white noise and other jolting tricks
@ random quotes and spoken word samples
@ unapologetically 80's analog synth-lines
@ wonderfully pretentious song titles like "Lower Your Eyelids To Die With The Sun" and "Let Men Burn Stars"

It shouldn't work. It really shouldn't. Any part on it's own wouldn't be a problem but all together it shouldn't be able to take off under it's own steam.

So how come it does and manges to be utterly sublime and life-affirming too ??

Spot Lyric(s) #3

Two from one album this morning.

Striking lines in themselves but all the more so when sung in a ridiculously beautiful female voice:-

"Yes, you do. You look so pretty with that gun in your mouth"

and

"I never mean for any one of them to die
They just collapsed between my thighs"

Both taken from the recently released "How would you like to be spat at ?" by The Provenance

Are you sitting comfortably......?

Kenneth and Judi recreate some magic Jackanory moments.......


Having seen, downloaded and thoroughly enjoyed the Christopher Walken version of "Three Little Pigs" over at Ray's Saturday Boy it got me thinking.

Whilst I'm sure genuine shows like this must have run around the world one of the best known was our own UK series "Jackanory". It enjoyed all manner of guest readers simply telling stories to camera during it's 1965 - 1996 run.

The most frills you would have got would have been a costume, a vaguely themed seat or, if you were lucky, the odd picture or two displayed whilst the story was told.

Over 3500 episodes some of the most unlikely readers graced the show.

Amongst the line-up, many of which may surprise you, were:-

Alan Bennett
Arthur Lowe
Bernard Cribbins
Billie Whitelaw
Brian Cant
Clement Freud
Denholm Elliott
Elaine Stritch
Floella Benjamin
Freddie Jones
Geraldine McEwan
Harry H. Corbett
Helen Mirren
Helena Bonham Carter
HRH Prince Charles, The Prince of Wales
Ian McKellen
James Bolam
James Robertson
Jeremy Irons
Joanna Lumley
Jon Pertwee
Joyce Grenfell
Judi Dench
Kenneth Williams
Lee Montague
Maggie Smith
Margaret Rutherford
Martin Jarvis
Michael Hordern
Miranda Richardson
Patrick Moore
Patrick Stewart
Patrick Troughton
Paul McGann
Paul Merton
Peter Davison
Peter Sellers
Prunella Scales
Rik Mayall
Sarah Greene
Spike Milligan
Sylvester McCoy
Tom Baker
Tony Robinson
Wendy Hiller
Willie Rushton

Rest assured, Ray, I'm still trying to track down the Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan one's.........

A Cautionary Tale....

Make backups of geeky things as well as personal things.

or

Got home last night and switched the PC on ready to have a blog. All booted up ok but every website tried yielded a DNS error - it couldn't be found.

Suddenly realised my Zoom ADSL router/modem/firewall/vacuum cleaner (one of those is a lie) was sitting looking rather poorly. Rather than it's normal array of Blackpool-like illuminations there was only the power light in place. Tried the #1 tech fixing ploy - turn it off and on again - and still the same.

Decided to connect into the modem and give it a kick software wise but this didn't work either - for some reason I'd been blocked from it's internal webserver front-end.

Only choice was to uninstall the software and drivers and go in from scratch again. Great Monday evening fun.

Did this and then remembered that the settings that had taken me about 4hours to get right were in the same folder as the Zoom software - yes, the folder that had now gone.

Another sigh - this time deeper.

Fiddled around and got the basics done then came to put the ISP settings back into the flash ROM so it could dial out on it's own when needed. Guess where I'd got these from in the first place.

Yes, hilariously, they were entered from the web. The very place I couldn't get to - catch22 anybody ?

Cue leafing through old printouts, scribbled notes and the like. Managed to find the DNS addresses and basic logoin style and, as you can tell from me posting this, got back on again enbough to grab the full details again and get back in action fully.

So, dear readers, go to your PC and grab pen and paper (or, if you are suitably set-up, a printer) and MAKE A NOTE OF THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ON YOUR PC.

Saving your word documents or eMail addresses is one thing but configs, settings and the like may just prove as important some day !!