Grinning like a cat with NIN lives......

Oh, and Trent fell onto my doormat this morning.

Carpathian is happy.

It's the szechuan that you wanted.

As I've had at least one person ask me to let them know what I end up buying I guess I'm honour-bound to drop something on here to that end. I'm shocked that people seem to read even my most mundane posts ;o)



Spring onion crackers
Szechuan pepper salt & Seven spice
Gold Plum chinkiang vinegar
Woh-Hup extra-flavour oyster sauce
SanTian sesame oil
Sunfood savoury seafood sauce
Cold oolong tea

Sugarcane and able.

Funny how you can shop in a city for near 4 years and still be surprised from someone's recommendation as to where to try.

Step forward Joe, one of my colleagues from work, who mentioned about a small Chinese shop/stall/hut/thing in the Green Market in the centre of Newcastle.

Went there this afternoon after work for a little look-see and will be going back tomorrow cash-in-hand to supplement my kitchen as there's some serious stuff to be tried. Spices, drinks, snacks, sauces and something resembling baby octopus tentacles. Guess which one in that list I'll not be buying. It's a wonderful little gold mine of odds and ends and it's about time things like seven spice found their way back into my cooking.

It being a hot day my slightly unhinged ability to grab random things I've never heard of (because I'm basically stupid) took over when I hit the drinks fridge. A random glass bottle was chosen - a green one because, well, green is good, right ?

(Click for even more green)

Turns out I'd picked up some "Sugarcane Juice" from Hung Fook Tong which, I now find out, promises 'promoting fluid generation' and to 'regulate function of stomach'. That last bit is just as well - my stomach has been far too rowdy of late.

I have absolutely no idea of how to describe it. You can tell it's fruity and it's obvious that it's basically a natural sugar but that's where my ability to put the flavour into words ends. The smell, taste and aftertaste are all entirely different and I'm not sure whether each sip makes me want to vomit or dive straight back in for another slug of it. This is exceedingly odd.

As you'll see from this traders page it's just one of their range and I'm now dying to try the 'Common selfheal fruit-spike' to see if it does 'Quench fire in the liver' and 'clear internal pathogenic heat'. Expect that on my list for tomorrow.

Not the tentacles though - I'm not that adventurous.

McDonations towards food for thought.....

There's been a lot said and written about it but I finally got to see it tonight - just about a lifetime behind everybody else.

Yep, tonight was my first portion of "Super Size Me".



At this precise moment, as the credits roll, I basically feel like not eating pretty much anything ever. Well, obviously not literally, that would be the most extreme idea when it came to losing weight...permanently.

It's more that even though I've been losing weight slowly and reasonably sensibly over the last 10 months (around 35lbs) I'm already thinking of my fridge contents and wanting to throw stuff out. Even things that are maybe average health wise - it just makes you rethink even the good practices you have for NON-fast food.

With around 30mins to go, there's a change of tone. For those yet to see it I won't say how it moves but you can probaly guess that Morgan Spurlock wasn't turning cartwheels and planning to run the NY marathon. To say this ends up compulsive and compelling viewing really is an understatement.

The thing, I'm guessing, that many will miss is that this is not a film about McDonalds. You could insert any chain or type of over-processed, 'easy' food in place of the arches and get a similar result. The scary thing is the rising number of people doing pretty much that normally, without a documentary to make.

Having typed this I'm not entirely sure what it's made me feel like or just how much I'll take from this over the next days, months or whatever but I'd imagine it'll pop into my head when going for that extra portion of something or feeling like just grabbing something to tide me over.

Either way, I think it's safe to say that the only thing to super size is more programming like this.

Nine Inch Nails: With Teeth.

A lot of other people in Blogdom are doing it and I've never been one to let a comfortable bandwagon drive by without hitching a ride to see if the seats are comfortable.

Here's my track-by-track for the new Nine Inch Nails album "With Teeth" - god knows Trent has made us wait long enough so it's worth at least a small song-and-dance for the fact it's nearly here.

To hear it legally and in full ahead of it's release, go to http://www.myspace.com/ninofficial

With Teeth

1. All The Love In The World.
A track of two very distinct halves and something very different as a NIN track and especially as a NIN album opener. A stumbling electronic beat, very Warp label in sound, starts with a simple vocal and backing wash and a warm yet ominous piano run. Very simple and mid-paced. Then, around half way, a dramatic change. A solid four-to-the-floor beat, an almost house piano, a prominent tambourine and Trent multi-tracked in lots of repeats of the track title. After a bar a fuzzed bass kicks in and it becomes an almost uplifting stomp. Very different and, initially, not very NIN sounding. After a few spins though it makes perfect sense. Just be prepared to be wrong footed for the rest of the album.
Quick Review (QR): Schizophrenic uplifting rattler.

2. You Know What You Are.
There's always one track (at least) on each album which is the distorted, grimy, stomping shouter. You know, the real big sledgehammer to the senses that Trent always seems to find favour with. This is said projectile weapon. Fast, hard and heavily programmed aggression behind him Trents distorted bile is spat out with some force, and the chorus only lifts this a notch further. A break-down hits and a subtle rolling guitar line takes over before climbing back up for the almost Prodigy like last bar or so finish.
QR: Venom spitting rusty cobra.

3. The Collector.
You could put this pretty easily on "The Downward Spiral" and it would be quite at home. A little "March of the Pigs" in it's production, with a faster riffed chorus and a more paced verse. Very insistent drums and a pretty live sound. A piano line, loose and wandering, comes in late on and adds a strange edge to the feeling of it. Fits well on what would otherwise be a typical NIN track, though some would argue it as exactly the sort of track they've not been doing enough. No surprises but pretty much nailed, if you'll excuse the pun..
QR: Drive-time music for cars that run on black leather.

4. The Hand That Feeds.
The lead single and a track that crept up on me over a few listens. Very direct, very little in the way of obvious post-manipulation - will work seriously well live. Having avoided leaks up until then heard that the video was up on the NIN.COM website, grabbed it and sat excitedly with a friend to watch. Rather underwhelmed and left with an "Is that it ?" kind of feeling. The weird thing is that over a few plays, and as part of the album, it actually works really well and I'm realising now that I actually quite like it. Very direct and totally obvious why it's the first track released. C'mon - you've heard it by now. I'll move on.
QR: Infectiously direct.

5. Love Is Not Enough.
Tears for Fears "Mad World". Yep, that is the first bar's lone beat - to all intents and purposes. Some long, low slung guitar and running drums back Trent almost-singing. Some heavily distorted lines popping in before a fully backed chorus before dropping back to the sparse verse again. Lots of very subtle but effective touches tucked away. A strange almost analog sounding line cuts in for some bars towards the end but I can't place where I think I've heard it's like before.
QR: Deceptively hook-laden.

6. Every Day is Exactly The Same.
Trents so-nearly-broken piano comes out of the cupboard to start things and is followed by a pounding yet measured drumming and pulsing synth. Reminds me irrationally of "The Day The World Went Away" for no apparent reason. Breaks down around the mid point and build back up again but fairly one-paced. Very much a grower and has only made an impact after a few plays.
QR: Fragile impact.

7. With Teeth.
Growling bass, a stumbling live drum pattern and an almost Frippian distorted guitar. Could be equally be described as sparse AND loud - the patterns used are very disjointed yet hold together well. As title tracks go it's quite odd. None more so than when it drops to just about the quietest possible piano/vocal break....then, as your ears are just adjusting, crashes back in - don't turn up the volume folks or Trent will be owing you a new set of speakers.
QR: Lurching monster.

8. Only.
The bastard love-child of "Pretty Hate Machine" and where Trent is now. Could be the offspring of "Down In It". Very old-school spoken word vocals with that "inflection that's almost a note" that Trent does. Opening drums are wonderfully old-school and the down-and-loose bass that joins it will stick in your head for ages. This is current NIN doing NIN retro, and doing it easily well enough to be a massive new anthem for the "Head Like A Hole" kids to latch on to. Oh, and you'll finally get to find out what "the dot" was from "Down in it" - a nice touch. Wonderfully managing to be dirty, broken and infectious.
QR: NIN doing NIN. The pretender to the 'Hole' throne.

9. Getting Smaller.
Probably the most stripped down track I've heard by them. Very fast and energetic and very much a 'band' track, at least in sound. Almost straightforward enough to be recorded as live. The most Grohl-ish the drums sound - very fast paced and carrying buzzing guitars as the track crashes away almost threatening to run away at times. Expect bruises in the pit when this gets played live.
QR: A pit-pleaser firing straight down the middle.

10. Sunspots
There are some tracks that have that certain something about them, something more of an undercurrent. This has something somewhere between creeping menace underpinning the lyrics and an almost stalking eroticism. A stalking bass line and simple drumming back Trents half whispering vocals in the verse with only a raise for the short chorus. Lyrics like "Fuck in the fire and we'll spread all the ashes around" only serve to keep the heat theme running. A wonderful analog siren wail squelching insistently through the later half - like something off the Human Leagues 1980 Travelogue album. A current favourite.
QR: smoldering sex-music for human torches and pyromaniacs.

11. The Line Begins To Blur.
I'd probably describe this as the most NIN sounding track on the album. Distortion, feedback, pulsing synth lines - very heavily programmed. Almost broken plaintive vocals interspersed with an almost yelped delivery. Another track with feet in past work - this time with the first half more Spiral and the second more Fragile. Very dirty and gritty yet somehow managing to lift itself during the latter half.
QR: Gritty swaggering insistence.

12. Beside you in Time.
Trent zones out and we'll most likely be joining him during this - luckily in a good way. A totally hypnotizing repetition of My Bloody Valentine / Space Men 3 guitars - heavily treated and layered over the simplest of almost click-track electronic beats. Treatment gives it a really off kilter style which just makes it mess with your head more. Seems to do very little musically for the first few minutes but there's odd little movements in the sound as the track plays which you miss on first listen - amazing on headphones. Trent speak-singing through most until towards the end when it breaks down before ramping back up with a new energy and more insistent guitar riffs. Fades into atmospherics.
QR: Utterly mesmerising Trent experimentation at it's best.

13. Right Where It Belongs.
If black can be described as 'the new black' then I guess it's ok to call this 'the new Hurt'. Raw, contemplative lyrics and a simple piano backing slow build until a short sampled live crowd breaks through and lifts the vocals resolution (literally lifting it in the mix) towards the end. Very much a step on from the live version of the aforementioned "Hurt". Expect black eyeliner to run for the gathered when played - most liable to join the 'affecting black and white footage' brigade. Once this track sinks in you'll not be shaking it anytime soon.
QR: Deafeningly soft emotional voyeurism.

14. Home.
Opening with an almost ethnic pipe sound and a pounding drum run this is another of NIN's simple sounding yet deceptively busy builders. Trents vocals are soft and allowed to lift with emotion as he bares that tiny bit of his soul not freed in the previous track. Breaks down into purely drums at the close. Short and a bookend to make the albums exit.
QR: Emotional closure made aural.

A Partly Political Broadside.

You do wonder if people in politics were ever living in anything remotely like a normal life. Yes, I know, we see old snapshots of them in university or doing something embarassingly hilarious, but did they ever really take in life before having a colour and slogan against their name ?

"But Carpy", I hear you cry as one, "why this sudden outburst ?"

All thieves to be moved into houses made of glass so that the public can eye up what they own !

Well, I guess it's watching the election campaign over here on the small island around The Towers. I've always been a keen fan of actually paying attention and voting, to make use of the voice a democracy gives.

Honestly though, what the hell is the crap peddled as "Campaigns" this time round ?

Kill the dead and force the rest to carry on living by law !

The two main parties seem hell-bent on doing all they can to turn people off, to sap their interest and drive them into a permanent "undecided" state. Virtually ever single day of the last week or so has been earmarked for things like health, economy, immigration and those sorts of topics.

All dogs to be sprayed yellow so they can be seen better by cars !

So, given the chance to spout forth on why we should draw a little cross against them, they head out and tell us.....well, nothing.

What they do grace us with is what they see as the faults with all the other parties and how that isn't as good as they would do given a chance. We're expected to place a vote based on the fact that a party isn't as bad as the other ones. There's always been an element of this in politics as when done right it's an integral part - show your hand and dismiss the oppositions - but this time it's the whole campaign.

Free beer for drunks to keep them off the streets !

I can do this, that's the point. I could sit here, look at each less-than-vague pledge and rubbish it without really saying what I'd do in return. I want to know what people are aiming to do, where their focus lies.

If it wasn't for the fact that, as I said, I value the fact that I have a vote I could almost be tempted not to bother. I'll be there though, trotting out with a most likely reduced percentage of the population and I'll therefore get my right to moan like hell at the outcome.

People who don't vote to have their hands stitched behind their backs.

Read my shiny helmet.....

There are so many Blogs now - a big sprawling mess of them.

Every now and then something appears on the end of a randomly clicked link. Ok, bad choice of words, the link is clicked on with a mouse. You know what I mean.

This time it appealed to the film/geek/humourist sides of me - yes, that's three-sides. Heck, I'm multidimensional. Isn't that a relief.

Take a journey over to The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster and catch a feeling of what it must be like for the 'black-is-the-very-old-black' wearing, Asthma spokesman from a certain sextuplet of films.

Personally, it makes me chuckle. Unforced laughter is good.

Mix The Hand That Gives........

nine inch nails: current

Further to Lucretias mentions of the man Trent here's some more nuggets for anybody interested.

TheReznor (as nobody has ever called him) has now released lead single "The Hand That Feeds" in Apple's Garageband format, so fans can remix and deconstruct it to their liking. According to the readme file that comes with the .sit download, Reznor explains a few things:

"I've been interested in the idea of allowing you the ability to tinker around with my tracks - to create remixes, experiment, embellish or destroy what's there. I tried a few years ago to do this in shockwave with very limited results."

And here's info on what you can expect in the download:

"What I'm giving you in this file is the actual multi-track audio session for "the hand that feeds" in GarageBand format. This is the entire thing bounced over from the actual Pro Tools session we recorded it into. I imported and converted the tracks into AppleLoop format so the size would be reasonable and the tempo flexible."

So, although not a Mac user I have the tools to convert and will be starting work on an attempted remix, rehash or, more likely, tuneless unfinished lump over the weekend.

Tom's 'ad it - General Motors Waits to see......

Spotted out on a trawl of the news sites in the World-Wide-whatever:


Tom Waits is weighing his legal options after General Motors "impersonated" his sound for one of its commercials in Europe.

Television commercials for GM’s Opal running in its Scandinavia region feature a soundtrack made, Waits claims, to recreate his signature sound. The commercials weren’t authorized, he said in a statement, and may invoke litigation from his camp.

“I have a long-standing policy against my voice or music being used in commercials and I have lawyers over there investigating my options,” he said in a statement.

The issue isn’t a cut-and-dried case of copyright infringement, however. GM didn’t appropriate one of Waits’ songs for its commercials. It produced a facsimile that, Waits claims, is close enough to profit from his musical reputation. Waits, whose last album was last year’s Real Gone, previously sparred with everyone from Frito Lay in the United States to Audi or Lancia in Europe for similar takes on his style in their commercials.

“If I stole an Opel, Lancia or Audi, put my name on it and resold it, I'd go to jail," Waits said. "But over there they ask, you say 'no,' and they hire impersonators. They profit from the association and I lose -- time, money, and credibility. What's that about?”

I'm sure we all wish Tom the best in stopping this profit-motivated pastiche. In an ironic twist I've lifted the story above from a news web-site and quoted it as my own. They'll be annoyed, people will be fooled and thereby help proving the point Tom is making. It's also due to the fact I'll usually not point people at sites with ads or too much flash - that's a trait copied far too much.....

Power to the Papal - Get thee behind me, sucka.

As anybody that knows me will testify, I don't do religion. I just find the whole zombie jesus, sea parting, salt-pillaring load of it to be a great story - easily the best ever written - but no more than that.

It was therefore fairly humour-creating to find that the 78 year old German Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger has been elected as the new pope. Two main things stand out:-

1) He was described as "Taking the name Pope Benedict XVI". Well, part my waves and call me pacific, but isn't that identity theft or, at the very least, having an alias for your paperwork ? Do the tax people know ? Has he been relocated after being a witness in a scandalous case ?

Ah, no, that's where the second thing cuts in....

2) Due to his hardline stance on everything except breathing he's already been given a nickname - "The Enforcer". A third name for him but, it must be said, a rather stronger Hollywood one.

When the action figure version comes out I want a little Enforcer of my own to dish out Papal Power on my desk at work. How cool would it be - little plastic shades and, if you push on his popelicious hat a selection of phrases including the gritty "Get thee back to hell, sucka, before I call you out....into the car park to settle this" or the classic "Feel the power of my prayers, baby, right in the face".

I want Frank Millar to do the film version - that would be nice...........

Short in length but hi in quality.

Fancy getting short films delivered to you for free ?

You could do a lot worse than popping over to Atom Films: Hi-Def where you'll get the chance to install a small gizmo that sits and monitors your internet connection and, when it's idle and just begging for data, downloads the films to your hard drive to be watched as and when you wish.

Every couple of weeks films time-out, are deleted and new ones shuffle quietly in. Some are brand new material premiering on the system and others are things like past Palm D'Or winners.

In a handy (and coincidental) link back to a previous comment of mine Microsoft are also partnering with Atom Films to make some of these shorts available in 720p High Definition video - ie better than DVD resolution.

If you wonder what all this fuss I'm making is all about and fancy grabbing a few demo HDTV clips then pop over to WMV-HD Showcase and nab yourself some.

There are two 'flavours' of HDTV video - one running at 1280 x 720 with the other an insane 1920 x 1080. Those people who aren't as big an anorak as me when it comes to things like this may therefore find it interesting to compare that with what they're watching now.

Currently PAL DVD is 720 x 576. This means that even the smaller of the new formats carries double the info and the larger is, at full tilt, around five times the amount.

You'll need a PC over about a 2.4 processor or above but it's so worth it. The large downloads (2 mins can be anything between 80mb and 150mb...or more !) are real eye openers once you see the increased quality over DVD. Colour saturation is incredible, detail is stupidly precise and things like skin just look more human.

Wheeeeeeeres your head at ?

When you've been at work for a while you end up feeling like a break - or possibly breaking something - whichever fits your character. It's all down to repetition I think - you get used to something, the pattern is good, then the routine ends up taking hold and you get bored of it - or hit it with a board - whichever gets there first.

It's probably why I'm enjoying my slight backing off from the Blog.

I've not dropped it, it won't get deleted and I'm still drawn to posting when the mood really takes me. It has done up to now and I know I will continue to do so. Gives me chance to make words out of little tiny lights behind glass - how could I refuse that !

There is something better about just coming here when I've actually got something to post.

Sounds obvious but I'd got into a rut of feeling guilty if I'd not posted withing 24hrs of the last one - sometimes more than once. Don't think I'm knocking this though - looking back through them I'm actually happy with about 99% of the gubbins on here (there's always a runt in the litter - it's natural).

If you think about it you'd have to have a pretty exciting life to keep the rate up that I'd started - over the first 100 days I'd done about 130 posts. Unless you're Bond declaring his conquests, the controller of a TV station inventing reality TV shows or a chav trying every flavour of alcho-pop that you can, well, it's going to run a little short after a while.

It's kind of ironic that my first post for a few days is about why I've not felt compelled to post. Actually even I can't work that out and I've just said it. Ho hum.

In case anybody is sad enough to wonder where I've been, or in reality to feed my ego into thinking there may be somebody out there reading this, here's a summary with odd thoughts from the last few days that didn't warrant a post of their own.

It's going to be a bumpy ride - you'd best buckle up now:-

* People apologise for the things which make them human. Have you ever heard a plant apologise for being green ? No ? Exactly my point. Be yourself and don't feel that things that come naturally need a sigh or an apology. People like feelings and honesty. No. They do. You'll be surprised how much they're appreciated for what they are.

* Homing pidgeons released in South Africa fly very slowly and never land. Maybe they've heard of the item two down the list.

* HDTV is gaining ground and starting to get a few extra mentions around the place. I tried it today via a few test 1280 x 720 clips and even on my PC monitor, where they're not fully realised, the difference over even DVD is apparent.

* South African marinade "Nandos Roasted Reds" is spectacular with chicken if left for 24hours to really get the flavour.

* Tickets going cheap for things usually means nobody else wanted them - it's a tough break Ray but you shoulda seen it coming ;o)

* A spectacular amount of rain is initially interesting but some 14 hours later even the sound of it battering your window can drive you nuts.

* Reading other peoples blogs is a vital part of having a blog. After all if nobody read the bloody things then most people would stop doing them a lot sooner. It's that human thing again.

* People out there around the world (well, those readers of my blog) do seem to like Dr Who. I'd always thought of it as being a very British thing and, therefore, should apologise for thinking like an island dweller.

Ah, I'm breaking my first item in that list. I'll stop while I'm ahead.

Which Dr ? Ah, that one !

Do I remember somebody sticking his neck out and giving the new version of "Dr Who" a cautious but positive welcome a few weeks ago ?

Oh yes, that will have been me then. Please excuse the sound of a trumpet being blown. By myself.

{cough}

Sometimes it's nice to right. It's also nice to see people waking up and wanting drama rather than by-the-numbers TV tombola. As it mentions in the quoted bit below the series has now added another million viewers since last week, thus proving the interest wasn't just for the first episodes hype and novelty. More viewers than the Royal wedding too ?

So, to the typical word "on the street" then:-

Episode three of the TV series, The Unquiet Dead, was the top rated British television program on Saturday, April 9, according to preliminary overnight ratings figures from ViewingFigures. Doctor Who was viewed by an average 8,339,880 viewers, a 36% audience share, with a peak of 8,914,240 viewers. By comparison, its competition on ITV, "Ant + Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway," had only a 32% audience share with approximately 7,136,000 viewers. "Doctor Who" therefore won its timeslot for the third week in a row, increasing its viewership over the previous week, and won the night... even beating two of the UK's biggest events of the year so far, the royal wedding and "The Grand National."

It is interesting to note how the final viewing figures of "Rose," the first episode, skewed upwards from these, so these results could, in fact, be higher when all data is in.

That is, by no means, atypical comment either.

Of particular note was that this Dickens themed third episode was a great amount darker and, in places, genuinely scarier, than the weeks that preceded. No doubt that this was in part due to being written by Mark "League of Gentleman" Gatiss - some great pacing, inventive dialogue and even the odd sly joke. Hearing Dickens exclaim "What the Shakespeare!" was a moment that made me chuckle.

It's not cool (yet) and, for those who've never seen an episode old or new, my interest may prove baffling. There are still 10 episodes left for you to catch up and pretend you've always been watching.

That's the only way....barring time travel, of course ;o)

12 minutes - beat that.......

What's the shortest time you've ever owned a DVD ?

Can you beat around 12 minutes, because that's the rather sad record I set for myself yesterday.

It's simply done.

Buy DVD. Walk to market. Spot some great Cantonese sauces. Buy sauces. Go home. Realise the DVD was put down whilst paying for sauces.

Ho hum.

It'll be a great test of the human condition - if the bag was found did somebody hand it in to the person running the stall and, if so, will they have it there if I go in today to check. As much as I've got faith in people I have a horrible feeling copy number two will be purchased today.

Oh, and yes, this one will be stapled to me until I get home ;o)

UPDATE:

Walked up to the stall and had only got the words "I was here yesterday buying some sauces and I may have...." out of my mouth before the person behind the counter stopped me by reaching under the counter and producing said DVD. She even proceeded to mention that she hadn't found anything to identify the owner for certain or she'd "have let me know sooner".

Ok, I owe the human race and, to my great shame, this wonderful person, an apology. Maybe the good is still drifting round out there.

So, lady working on the food stall in the Grainger Market, Newcastle-upon-Tyne, should you ever read this I thank you again for your efforts.

Oh, and Ray ? It was only a £7 copy of Bram Stokers Dracula, bought to fill a gap in my collection. Which DVD it was hadn't been the issue in question. Showing that I'm quick to believe the worst though hoping for the best, has proved to be the outcome.

For Retarius: Claws, tail and a stoney gaze....

After a comment from Retarius elsewhere, here's something that should make him grin.

He's not the only one with a gargoyle - those of you who thought it was just part of the sites attempted theme will be surprised to find that Garg, the stone gargoyle, does indeed live at the Towers.

He was adopted many years ago and lugged back from London where he was born (chiselled ?) into life. He now sits and watches over everyday life - always comtemplating things quietly in the background.














Also, tucked away around the Towers, are other smaller examples of the art. Garg feels these are beneath him and aren't "real" gargoyles like himself. Who am I to argue with him...

News updates when you're asleep.

Mother Carpathian and Father Carpathian (no, silly, not members of the church) are coming up to stay this weekend and, as this Carpathian needed to get a few things done first, I'll apologise for the lack of updates.

That's the longest I've gone without a post and I'm both ok about it and (due to the fact I feel the need to explain) wish I'd dropped others inbetween. Interestingly though nobody went into a panic, mailed me or started a campaign. I'll just assume that you knew I was simply busy, ok ;o)

So, back to the post proper or there's a chance that the preamble will be longer than the reason for posting. Ah, this line didn't help that, did it.

I'm never less than surprised at the things the brain does at unexpected times.

I went to bed last night feeling totally fine and drifted off to sleep like every other time. I had a really odd dream though. The Carpathians parents arrived at the station and I walked up to greet them and.....I'd lost my voice totally. No croak, no half-words, no comedy noises. Nothing.

Now there are those of you that will say it's a psychological reaction to deep down feelings - you know the sort of thing I mean. I don't because I know what happened next.

I woke up this morning with a throat feeling like I'd been gargling broken glass.

So, obviously my self-monitoring system spotted this even whilst I was asleep and made me aware of it in the only way it could at the time. That's actually quite clever when you think about it. I wonder therefore if other dreams, usually associated with feelings or subconcious desires, are actually more of a medical bulletin ?

Is the falling feeling just when a leg or foot moves off the end of the bed, for example ??

Strange though, all the same.

Right, I'm off to finish making the Towers look like it's always neat and tidy - even Carpathians like to have their gargoyles shiny for visitors.......

Just what is the penguin/beer exchange rate ?

I've just caught the end section of a countdown of the "best childrens TV moments".

I didn't see any full rundowns or get an idea of where I was in the list for the part I saw.....so don't quiz me as to what won. It most likely (and predictably) involved an elephant. In black and white. With some people skidding about.

No, the bit I did see was an episode of Pingu.

I've often heard that, contrary to the child-friendly facade, this was a series full of hidden meanings, disguised swearing and things you never normally allow the blessed little ones to see.

Wouldn't you know it - that seemed to be right.

The episode in question featured, in glorious bright-clay-o-vision, the following lurid story line:-

Pingu needs food for the family.
Pingu goes out to catch fish.
Pingu catches fish.
Pingu takes the fish to the pub and trades them for beer.
Pingu drinks the beer through a straw.
Pingu gives beer to a young child-penguin.
Pingu's little relation drinks until his eyes spin and he pisses himself.
Pingu laughs and keeps drinking.
Pingu goes home and needs the toilet.
Pingu doesn't get to the toilet in time.
Pingu pees all over the floor in a huge yellow arc that defies belief.
Pingu cleans his mess up off the floor with a towel.

Now, that wasn't exactly what I expected and, I have to admit, caused outloud laughfests here at the Towers.

I'm trying to find screens as we speak so you may also cause salty water to issue from the corner of your eye sockets........

No nets, no harnesses and hitting the mark for 2 hours - TV fights back.

So there I was, earlier today, moaning about the state of films - just one of those random things that takes your fancy enough to drop a post on this place.

As if to show me I'd spoken a little too soon about the state of current entertainment, in all it's forms, I chanced upon a barely advertised nugget. So engrossing was it that I owe the Banks an apology if he was online waiting to run around shooting people - I never made it.

BBC4, tucked away in the digital netherworld, tonight brought some of the danger back to television by going back to the days of the "L" word.

Live.

Yes, for the first time in around 20 years, they broadcast 2 hours of live drama. Being on auntie Beeb that meant no commercials, no break for the news - just solid drama acted as you watched it with no delay safety-net in case of mistakes etc.

There were a couple of inserted pre-filmed sections for things like TV news reports and the like but it was only at the end that you realised there were no special-effects, no computer graphics and that there were never that many camera shots being snapped between. It's actually obvious when you think of the natural parallels with theater - you can't exactly have wires and crew wheeling kit around all over the place for something like this.

It has to be said that it was pretty good too. A recreation of a 1953 Quatermass story, originally broadcast live then lost in the archives. The only real mistakes spotted were a couple of camera shakes as if they'd moved slightly away from the plan and ended up bumping into something. Either the actors hit their marks every time or they were good at adlibbing back to script and covering for slips - over that long a time I think that's pretty good all told.

Curious about this and the whole live thing ?

BBC Four Drama - The Quatermass Experiment - Live

It's not much to ask, is it ?

To paraphrase a certain bunch of dancing clotheshorses I'll tell you what I want, what I really REALLY want in a film.

1) I want to be able to sit through a whole film and not think to myself "Oh, I remember seeing that twist/surprise used in a film before". I want to be thinking about the film I'm watching at that moment.

2) I want disaster movies to NOT have one diehard scientist or politician that refuses to believe the solution put forward to them because of the cost or the fact "It's just crazy".

3) I want a main character - you know, the big poster star - to die/vanish/leave early enough to surprise the audience. If a big star starts the film we all know there's a 90% chance they'll be there at the end.

4) I want foreign characters to speak their own language if they would be doing so in real life. The days of old school war films etc where everybody speaks English except with their relative dodgy accents should be long gone by now.

5) I want a film which has a title that doesn't end in 2, 3, 4, 5, too, again, returns etc.

6) I want to see a film shot entirely from the main characters eyes. We see what they see, nothing more and nothing less. There, if you need an idea - use it with my blessing.

7) I want things based on new writing - not books, history, biographies or merged half-fact reconstructions.


Finally, most of all:

I want some of these things to not seem such wild requests in the current climate. I know great films are out there but it shouldn't be a case of so few diamonds among so many turds.

I've not had a rant on here for a while and you're safe now, this one's done.

No news is, well, no news.

Realised today that I've been in my current job for four years - this very day.

Whoooo !

Yay !!!

Hurray for me !




(yeah, ok, it's been a slow news day at the Towers)