Power to the Papal - Get thee behind me, sucka.
As anybody that knows me will testify, I don't do religion. I just find the whole zombie jesus, sea parting, salt-pillaring load of it to be a great story - easily the best ever written - but no more than that.
It was therefore fairly humour-creating to find that the 78 year old German Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger has been elected as the new pope. Two main things stand out:-
1) He was described as "Taking the name Pope Benedict XVI". Well, part my waves and call me pacific, but isn't that identity theft or, at the very least, having an alias for your paperwork ? Do the tax people know ? Has he been relocated after being a witness in a scandalous case ?
Ah, no, that's where the second thing cuts in....
2) Due to his hardline stance on everything except breathing he's already been given a nickname - "The Enforcer". A third name for him but, it must be said, a rather stronger Hollywood one.
When the action figure version comes out I want a little Enforcer of my own to dish out Papal Power on my desk at work. How cool would it be - little plastic shades and, if you push on his popelicious hat a selection of phrases including the gritty "Get thee back to hell, sucka, before I call you out....into the car park to settle this" or the classic "Feel the power of my prayers, baby, right in the face".
I want Frank Millar to do the film version - that would be nice...........
posted by Just Somebody @ 7:11 pm
4 comments
4 Comments:
Admit it. You just want to be punished, you bad little boy!
Now pull down your pants and bend over. This is going to hurt a lot!
I wish making up the "Enforcer" tag could be claimed by myself but it IS the name he's long had as a Cardinal.
Don't get me started on religion though. Funny hats, dresses, waving their arms around ? Thats WI line-dancing, isn't it ?
(Yes, I'm so going to hell)
Literaly!
I spent my wee childhood years in Catholic churches and all I remember is thinking no matter what I did or said, I would burn in hell.
So I did what any reasonable should would do. I asked my mom if I could stay home and watch TV instead.
She said yes.
Raised catholic, I learned one thing... never question the authority of catholicism. That's how they keep you as a lifetime member... guilt.
So he can have 17 names if he so chooses. He may keep a sawed off shotgun under his miter. He may even have gangsta rap playing in the popemobile along with a mini poster of Lil Kim... but just never question it; turn a blind eye. I've questioned... and I'm no longer a member in good standing.
Although I believe in something, it's not just one thing. Religion is a farce. As you said, nice story, but I'm not that trusting to buy it from a rottweiler in papal robes.
And since when do popes have websites?! Sheesh!
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