Long rant about small words.

Maybe it's just because I'm a little tired this morning. Possibly it's just my usual lop-sided take on things. Either way it's bugging me so I'm going to have a little mini-rant about it.

Actually, you're most likely going to think I've lost it completely. "There's that Carpy again, rambling on about nothing in particular", I can hear you thinking. Hell, you're right, I'm the first to admit it.

It's the little things that bug you though. Not at the time, or the third or fourth occasion. When you've been spotting a trend for something over a number of years it really burrows home - chinese water torture "drip...drip....drip..." style.

So, what is this thing winding me up today ?

Two little words, hiding away on nearly every product label you'll see:-

"Serving Suggestion"

For two small unassuming words they're pretty insulting when you think about it. As you can tell, I have thought about it. Probably far too much.

Take something as simple as soup. Just normal Tomato soup, for example. They show it put in a bowl and underneath put, in tiny letters, "serving suggestion".

It's just as well, isn't it. After all, it saves me from trying to eat the soup out of a wooden basket or maybe a small slipper. I see the label and am intended to go "Ah, a bowl ! That's what I should have been using all along !!"

As a second bonus it saves me seeing the bowl on the front and then being let down when there's no bowl in my can of soup. I've obviously not got the brain power to realise that it wouldn't fit without having it pointed out that it's just an illustration.

To be fair, that latter one has caught me out many times. No roast dinners in my gravy granules jar, no cheese and salad filling in my loaf of bread and especially no large portion of curry hidden under my sachet of rice. If I'd realised all along that these were just made up pictures I'd have saved myself time hunting.

Yes, I was being sarcastic, albeit with a sigh in my voice.

The thing this leads to though is why they ever had to put it one there in the first place ?

I'm sure that, as with many things, small print is only put on because there's a legal need to. Which, in turn, means that at some point a poor unsuspecting company has been taken to caught as somebody has, in their infinite wisdom, sought to complain at a legal level that their packet of parsely sauce didn't contain a large succulent cod.

The final straw that broke the back of this niggle-laden Carpathian was this whole thing taken to the n'th degree on the side of a loaf of bread.

There, on the side of the loaf wrapper, sat a picture of a bowl of salad. Just a bowl of salad.

Underneath were written the tiny words:-

"Serving Suggestion. Just add bread"