So, that noise sounded like what exactly ?

With the new Napalm Death album firing up the Carpathians ears at the moment I was trawling around the web and happened to spot the following on the Relapse record label website. Whether you like or hate the band or their music I just thought it was a wonderful description....and, it must be said, pretty accurate.

"What does Napalm Death sound like, exactly? Well imagine 2 binliners full of rabid, three-headed mutant rottweiler puppies stuffed in a metal dustbin and kicked down the stairs of a multi-story tenement block during a riot whilst overhead souped up B52 bombers flown by screaming demons drop grand pianos full of roaring crack babies into a dynamite-packed quarry of one-armed born-again Christian steel-drummers. On drugs. They sound exactly like that. Only madder.

Do you get it? Do the down-tuned guitars, ultra fast blast-beats and gruff throat cancer vocals make any fucking sense whatsofuckingever!? As a recent letter to the Guardian newspaper pointed out - "without the correct critical tools, Napalm Death and Wagner both sound shit". Have you got the ears?

If you approach Napalm Death expecting the leopard-skin print poodle fakery of LA's cod-metal wank bands then you'll be savagely disappointed. If you come to Napalm Death seeking the dry wit of Belle and Sebastian then you'll run home screaming with your bloody and shattered brains spurting out of your ruptured eardrums. And serve you right."

Whoever said the art of writing was dead...... ;o)