I wasn't heading to Georgia......

Journeying home from a works night out last night (beer, curry, talking far too much shop - you know the score) I ended up catching the 'Midnight Metro', the last one of the night, back home.

Whether it was the late hour, the sort of day he'd had or just the fact he was a few stops from finishing for the day, the driver was seemingly in a little comedy world of his own.

For the handful of passengers being carried home he decided to embellish on the normal dry station announcements with the following joyous stupidity:-

"Welcome to the magical mystery tour. It's not a mystery where we're going but it is when it comes to how we ever get there."

"We're now pulling into Cantral Station. For those of you who are fans of "Thomas the Tank Engine" this is where the big chuff-chuffs live."

"Can those of you on the train please wish goodnight the the guard who's been travelling with me tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has now left the train."

"We'll now be entering a long dark tunnel - for those of you afraid of the dark I suggest putting your hands over your eyes. For those of you scared of tunnels please forget I said that. Oh, and those of you with "Attention Defecit Disorder" you most likely already have."